Parenting is the hardest job! There are constant critics (our own children), and we can be pretty hard on ourselves, too.
Bill Martin is a radio DJ. He’s also a parent of three grown children who now have children of their own. He’s also pretty wise. Here are six lessons for parents that he shared on the air and on the radio’s webpage.
1. Don’t Panic
Early into adolescence it is easy to panic as your kids go through so many changes, including the need to clarify their values and beliefs in comparison to their parents. If you respond with calmness and invite conversation rather than reactions rooted in your fears or disapproval, it will allow them to work through their questions and preserve a positive relationship with you.
2. Lean In
Don’t check out. Stay in their world. If you don’t understand the media they are consuming and the language they are using, lean in to better understand them. You don’t have to be an expert, just don’t be absent.
3. Double Team (if you can)
Either with a spouse, co-parent or close family and friends in your church – work with other adults to help you maintain a positive approach to parental challenges and ongoing frustrations.
4. Learn to listen
You’ve got to learn to listen to your kids before just plugging in all your answers. As a father, I was gently but firmly reminded by my wife that our oldest son (15 or 16 at the time) would eventually work through his thoughts and come to reasonable conclusions, and that if I would listen before correcting or challenging, my guidance would be more productive.
5. Learn how to apologize
You will make mistakes as a parent of teens. You won’t always be aware of how you are showing up in the lives of your teens. When you are willing to own your mistakes and missteps, getting to a point of reconciliation and progress in your relationship happens much faster. It takes humility to confess your fault to your kids, but there’s hardly any more powerful way to reach their hearts and build a long-term relationship.
6. Play the long game
Parenting is a lifetime calling. While the teen years are a short season in life, they are the formative years in setting your teen up for success as an adult. As you follow these principles, you will set yourself up to have a thriving relationship with your kids as they get into their early 20s and begin families of their own.
There’s a lot of wisdom there!
Have a great week!
Dr. Edwards
gocounseling 